There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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