Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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