the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
whose ass print is on the piano?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
