Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize