Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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