quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
