I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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