How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize