Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize