Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
