so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You ate ashes out of my bong
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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