And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
