we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
