he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize