No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
