We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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