i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
