And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize