I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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