big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
