I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Dignity is for republicans.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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