my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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