who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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