why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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