Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Randomize