I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
