can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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