Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
