My friends, they love my intelligence
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
