Your mouth is God's brothel.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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