we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
