remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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