I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
