yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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