...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
