i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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