she peed on how many people?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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