we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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