walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You left your phone here
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