I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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