Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I have tasted many bathrooms
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