U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
