No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize