If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
