and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
