question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
