don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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