He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize