can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
