In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
