just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
