I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Randomize
