ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
