she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize