After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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