drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
