**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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