I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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