3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
