is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
