Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Say something about gay babies.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
we're so committed to being not committed
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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