dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
