Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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