Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
