Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
